Friday, February 27, 2009

A Personal Question - Please Give Feedback!

It's been a rough month... some good things, some bad.

Some changes.

I have been 'thinking' a lot!

And, to be told, I've been hiding in my scrappy world. My crafty space is my private world... I hide there, and in my journal, when life throw's me a curve ball.

I haven't posted many photos, because I have been wrestling with the question of 'should I' or 'Shouldn't I'. Same with stories...

It's a long story.

Basically, I received a poison pen letter, from someone who is not in my life yet watches my blog. This person lurks, for their own personal gratification. let's just say, this is a 'give me' type of person. And, this person is a relative. Whom, I obviously have a strained relationship with.

So many things to say, but I have not felt comfortable putting those thoughts here, where I really really really wanted to! I mean, some of my closest friends and relatives are right here! The ones who cheer me up, understand me and love me for who I am!

Yet, I think about the whole 'open the the whole world' thing.

So, I am going to ask you a question.

I have thought about going 'member's only' with my blog. If I do, then I would send each of you a private email with an invitation.

The whole purpose of going 'members only' is to be able to have a private conversation, share my life, as in all of it, without being spied on...

So, here is the question:

Tell me your advice, given my dilemma: (some of you may be in the same boat!)

Should I:
1. Go Members Only with this blog - cut the access
2. Keep this blog as it is - don't worry - get on with living your life say what you have to say
3. Start a new blog that is members only - save the private stuff for that space, and the folks that can 'deal with it' and leave this one for your public life...


Thanks for listening... My next post will share the next step regarding my decision...

21 comments:

Lisa Carroll said...

Andi... first of all, giant ((hugs!))

I have considered, MANY. TIMES. taking my blog private. Only you know what's best for you. :) However, a couple technical issues to think about when making your decision:

Once you go "members only", those members will be required to log in at *every* visit... not just once. Don't know if it matters to you or not, but that could cost you a few readers due to the small inconvenience.

Second, going private means that feed readers like Google Reader and Bloglines (and I belive even FeedBlitz/Burner) cannot pick up the feed. Again, you could potentially lose readers over this issue as well.

If it's just one reader in particular that is the issue, you could always just change the URL, and then email it to those who request it, as well as change your settings so that your new URL isn't tracked by the major search engines. This keeps your new blog public and easily accessible, yet makes it more difficult for others to find it. ;)

I'm sincerely very sorry for any hurt you've been caused. :( Whatever you decide, I'd love to be kept in the loop! ;)

Karen said...

Hi Andi! I'm sure you don't know me, but I used to chat over at 2peas and have followed your blog since you started it (I remember you deciding what to name it).:> I enjoy seeing your craftiness and also what ranch life is like. Your writing also has me smiling a lot! I hope there will be a way I can still pop in and see what fun you are having. I am sorry that someone decided to take some of that fun away for you!!! Whatever decision you come to, I'm sure it will be the right one for you.

Suzanne C said...

Count me in as wanting to follow along. I enjoy reading what is going on personally and also seeing what you create. Sorry you are having a rough time about it.

Tami B. said...

I was wondering where you've been. My own vote is for #2. The best revenge (not the best choice of word) is living well. You do live well my friend. I get so much joy out of reading about your ranch life. If somebody chooses to be nasty, you can choose to not let it invade your life. Don't open the email, throw out the letter, and trash their comments. Life is too short for icky people, related or not. I think we've all been there in some way or another.

glitzen said...

I say option two, because if you go members only, you will not be able to reach out and touch new members, who may really benefit from your ideas, stories, etc. And a private blog...well there is only so much you would be able to say there, as well. Some things are meant to be "private" no matter who is in or out. I hope I'm making sense. In the end, its yours and you should do what seems best and most comfortable.
On another note, I'm sorry you were "invaded" by poison, I'm sure you feel somewhat vulnerable now. I don't blame you for feeling tempted to go private. Whatever you decide, take me along...hee hee. I love your blog.

Anonymous said...

I'd go with keeping your blog as is. Did you receive the poison pen letter in U.S. Mail? If so, and you know who it is, henceforth send their letters back unopened. Forever. Who could be so mean to you? For such a person, it would be an obsession for them to learn access to a "restricted" blog and prove to you "they got thru".
Aunt Alice.

Guy Magallanes said...

Andi...You are one of my hero's, you give so much and enjoy so much and make sure to take everyone along for the wonderful adventures you have in store for us.
I'm sorry someone wants to take that away from you and US your grateful followers. I completely understand the lurking monsters in the world and in our family, and I finally figured something out...I'm not responsible for their happiness or their unhappiness and you're not either. I know you're hurting, mad and especially emotional that they can have such an effect on you, but this will pass - if you let it. If anything else arrives from them, please just return it. YOU are showing/teaching your kids how to move through the world, how did you ever get to be such a great mother?
I'm for choice #2. Live your life, share your life in the wonderful way you do.
I support any option you take, please let me in on your adventures.

Penny said...

Gosh, my heart went over when I heard that you had received such a poison pen letter! You're such a lovely person and I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

For me, I get automatic updates and love coming here hearing about your family and the farm too as you know I am a big advocate of free range food.

I can't say I have any advice either way but I know you will do what feels right for you xx


Penny

Kerilou said...

Hey, Andi! Sorry things have been rotten for you lately. I would choose choice number 2.
Frozen hugs
Keri

Louise (KardKrazy) said...

Andi, so sorry to hear about your present trials. You have been missed in blogdom:)
No real advice -- I'm sure you'll figure out what feels right for you. Just let me know if you go anywhere, so I can follow along -- in a very healthy way, of course!

ScrappyPam said...

I'm with #2. You have the right to live your life and tell your story. It's your basic right as a human being and NO ONE can take that away from you unless you let them. It's hurtful that they've done this, but it only shows off their thoughtless character - and really has nothing to do with you. (Really. Think about it a minute.)

There are ways to block this person, whether it's via the postal system, email or online. If you need more info on this, give me a shout.

Meanwhile, big {{{hugs}}} to you. Keep on keeping on!

reflections:0) said...

WOW! {{{{HUGZ}}}} to you and yours because, I know if you are feeling this then so is the rest of the family... My heart goes out to you... That just stinks that others or, one person can make life that way for anyone...


I will go with whatever you need to do as best for you and yours...

your friend, reflections:0)

Keeneye said...

Yuck.

I've been there, though.

First: your blog is AWESOME! I don't scrap, but I enjoy seeing your creations, and I really love reading about your day-to-day life working your arse off to manage the ranch and the family.

Second: It's because of your blog that I refuse to eat store-bought steaks anymore. I buy from Bella, or have my husband pick up sausages from you @ the farmer's markets. Your blog is a marketing tool that helps potential customers to get to know you and your products.

Third: (and this is my favorite quote from Eleanor Roosevelt)

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.



I, too, have lurkers who read my blog who I really don't want around. Alas, such is the price of blogdom fame. ;^)

What I've done (and I don't know if it's possible with Blogger) is to password-protect certain posts. You know, those posts where you RANT and RAGE and pound out your frustrations on the keyboard so loudly your kids think that you're remodeling the kitchen!

Then, you can move on and post on a lovely scrapbook that you've done.

Your friends and family will know your trials and tribulations, but the general public (and lurkers) won't have a clue.

Don't censor yourself. Please.

Sweet Blessings said...

Oh, sweet girl...I have sooooo missed you! I'm so sorry to hear about how rough this month has been....I don't know the answer to your question, because I know other bloggers who have totally experienced the same thing...But, what I do know is you are a wonderful writer..do an amazing job of sharing the life you live with others, and are truly touching lives you will NEVER know about. I will just pray for you...that you will find the perfect soulution and peace! Thank YOU for being YOU and for being so real and sharing yourself in such open ways! Hope your day is filled with ALL things good! Sweet blessings!

Hannah. F said...

Hi Andi- I am a club member of Hero arts and recently added you to my blog list to follow. Well I dont really know exactly what to say, but I know it must feel strange to know someones watching you. If your the Praying sort I would ask HIM I know it might seem silly to ask about a blog, but God cares about everybody and everything, So please ask him to help you deal with it.

Debra Day said...

Andi, I hope all these responses have proven to you that the 'world' at large has now been given notice as to what you think about 'them' and what everyone else thinks of that type of behavior. Nasty is as nasty does. Just keep me advised of your posting. Like one reader said, you can change the name of your blog and just let the rest of us know. Make a list of all our emails/addresses and keep us connected. I'm in your corner whatever you choose.

Anne said...

Hi, Andi! I think that you should do whatever feels most comfortable to you! This is your blog, and you can run it however you want. One of the things that I'm learning as a person and an artist is to create an environment of safety for myself - because no one else will! It is hard to establish boundaries, especially with societal pressures that we should be friends with everyone - and especially family - but only you know what you truly need to thrive and flourish. Be safe. Be comfortable. Be you. I'll tag along and support ya! :-)

Sue McGettigan said...

Access and disclosure are such touchy subjects. If you decide to go members only, I'd join. If you decide to stay public, I can only say this - those poison pen people, they're so hard to ignore, but really that's what you have to do. For their own reasons they are bitter, angry, negative, and they feed on making others feel that way. I say soldier on the way you are Andi, sunshine and light, joy and wonder, but if you feel the need to change to a more private forum then by all means you should do so. In general I say 'don't let the turkeys get you down'!! How '80s is that??

Lauren said...

Hi Andi -

My opinion is that you should leave it public and continue to blog about whatever your little heart desires.

If certain people are that bad, then maybe refrain from mentioning them... that is up to you. It sounds like they are toxic and you should try to distance yourself or at least set up some sort of boundaries.

Ultimately, only you can make this decision but going private will make it difficult to get people to easily read your blog.

I support you either way... hugs!!!
Lauren

Jenn Biederman said...

Hey Andi! I haven't checked your blog for a while...so sorry that it has been so long! I loved your I Appreciate You card & then proceeded to notice why you made it. As I read on, I just thought more & more that you really need to stick with your blog & keep it as is. I think keeping it the same would be your way of saying that their opinions & hurtful ways will not bring you down. You bring such joy to us readers & friends! This obviously is a tough decision to make and I am with you 100%...whatever you decide. {{hugs}} to you! :)

Lisa Renéa said...

Andi, I too have considered this. Whatever, you decide, know that I love your blog! Your writing is amazing and I always look forward to reading it.