Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Trailer Trash - Sexton Ranches Style


You heard me. Trailer Trash. Does the sound of it make your skin crawl? What comes to mind? Cut off jean shorts, a pack of Marlboro's, Budweiser in the can (does it actually come in a bottle?) or Tornadoes wiping out an entire neighborhood? (BTW, all these sarcastic remarks are for my little sister Paula). Um, not exactly the road I was going down, but an entertaining discussion none the less.

Allow me to introduce you to Trailer Trash, Sexton Ranches style....

Monday was trash day. Not trash day like my friends in town who get their trashed picked up weekly. Man, talk about valet service! I'm sure the trash service folks would love to pick up our cans, and charge a mint for it, but, that would mean getting the cans out to the highway. It's not 'that' long of a walk, maybe 1/4 mile, a nice stroll if you aren't carrying anything. But, with full cans, I would have to load them in the pickup, and by the time it's all said and done, I might as well drive to the dump and save the monthly fee!

Besides, trash day at our place comes once every three months or so. Seriously. We have three trash cans out in front of the house that are for 'the dump'. The dump is a good 45 minute drive from here. The County Dump. We also have a burn barrel out back for paper stuff, and a compost bucket in the kitchen for the non meat food scraps. The burn barrel and compost pile are part of my daily chores. Now, the 'dump' trash, which consists of all things that can't be composted, burned or recycled goes in the trash cans.

For those of you that did the math I'm guessing that you're impressed that it takes us 3 months to fill 3 cans. You're amazed with our abilities at conserving, aren't you? Hmm..

Well, remember my 'big girl' post where I mentioned ' having to beg' Mr. Sexton to do chores around here? It's time to let you in on one of our 'go arounds'. You see, those trash cans actually fill up in about a month. That's when I inform Mr. Sexton that it's time for a trash run, and he usually says something along the lines of 'didn't we just go to the dump'? He also has a weird sense of time. Things that happen say, three or four months ago, just occurred last week in my husband's timezone. So, since the cans are full, I start bagging trash and leaving it in the garage, basically, where he would like to park his truck. I also store the bottles, magazines and any other recyclable goodies in the same location. The tons of boxes from our meat business get broken down, and are stacked somewhere in the same vicinity also waiting to 'be gone'.

Into month 2, I start my reminders. 'Dick, we need to take the trash to the dump'. "I can't do it now, I'll get back to you when I'm not so busy", is his reply. By the end of month 2, I have reached my limit, and ironically, Dick starts commenting about 'all the junk' in the garage! HA! We set trash hauling dates, which get cancelled. And alas, finally it is dump day... By this time our 'stuff' ain't gonna fit in the back of a pickup truck no more, and it is 'trailer trash' day.

Yesterday was trailer trash day. 'We' loaded all the junk into the livestock trailer and the kids and I drove to the dump. I had to drive through 2 towns, which makes me nervous. Going through downtown Baker can be exciting with a truck and trailer, especially when pedestrians decide to cross the road. Basically, I don't like to slow down with the trailer, or deal with sudden stops. I would also like to go on record and say, I have never hit anything, alive.... it's not fun going to the dump. It's a stinky nasty place, loaded with nasty germs. Other peoples germs. I had to bark at Jake to 'DROP IT' when he was sorting through other people's trash (UG!)... Sami had to hold the trailer door open for me while I was taking out the cans, she one hand on the door, the other on her nose. the highlight was trying to empty the burn barrel. It's heavy. I dropped that sucker a few times, and had to pick it up on its end to empty it..again, a few times. I'm sure I got all sorts of creepy things on me. The other trash dumping people, all men, did not bother to help when I was obviously struggling with my job. One guy did comment on how well I backed up the trailer though. Meanies. I held my own. I did get the job done (I had no choice!). Another big girl moment for me. But one I would gladly pass on! Pass the antibacterial soap please!

ps. The photo is of our driveway.. The line of trees is near the highway and I am standing in front of the house!

6 comments:

Sandy said...

Okay, so, uh....maybe the country life AIN'T for me...remind me of trash day when I get jealous of your life!!

Dawn said...

heee hawww ma, It's traaaash day.. oh how funny. I had no idea that it was that hard to get rid of trash. I take for granted that those funny guys in there bright green shirts come by every friday morning. love the stories keep 'em comming....

*karendianne. said...

Ha! I love your M.O. Timing is perfect - today is trash day at LeeHaven although we do have curbside service so I wont complain even though I wanted to. ;) Little cousin Love, *karendianne.

Anonymous said...

Love the story, but now pass me my damm beer and ciggs!!! OOPS! Better wait till that tornado whips by first!

Paulita

Tami B. said...

Oh my goodness...can I relate. Until about 4 years ago I had to make regular visits to the dump. We finally joined the new milennium with pick up trash service in our community-worth every penney. Now if we could just get mail delivery.....

Sandy said...

By the way...tag, you're IT!

Play tag!