More of Us

Little Miss Tommie

Us! New Year's Eve Night

 I've never seen the show 'This is Us' but I did want to share with you, here, Us. Our household.

First, there's Tommie, who will be two this Valentine's Day. She's Phil's 'girl'. His companion on his drives, walks, and trips to the cabin. She's mine too, when I walk up/down the lane, around the 'front 40', and when Phil ditches both of us for one of his adventures. 

Before Cancer, and Covid, Phil would take off for a week to either golf in Arizona or hunt in Texas, or even travel to Salt Lake to spend time with his oldest daughter and her family. Typically, in February.  And he also left for about 3 weeks, right before Thanksgiving to guide. Right now, he still wants 'out' during the winter.  And, we leave next Friday for a 5 week adventure:) (Make that in 3 days!)

Me? Well, I'm the gal behind the pen or behind the camera. Most of the time thinking, pondering, and overthinking and over pondering.  Which is why I am back here, writing. To.Get.It.Out.Of.My.Head

These photos are from New Years Eve. You can see Phil in 'good light' and bad (or real). Capturing the man he portrays when out and about, and a glimpse of the one that is home, in his 'man' chair, exhausted, at the end of the day. That's what the last photo gives you a glimpse of, his 'tired' face. 

He has an evening routine. I think it starts at 3pm. Jump into the hot tub, take a shower, put on his cozy clothes, have a cocktail - all by 4:30 pm. Back into the chair. Then, after dinner, fall asleep in the chair with the TV on. Most Days. 

Why do I share this? Because this is what our new normal is. This living with Cancer. It's the third wheel in the room. The uninvited guest who doesn't listen to social cues, and doesn't leave when it's time to go. And we pretend its not here, taking up space. 

It's the one who takes over the dinner conversation. Or ends up re-planning the day.

It's the one who dictates the food to be eaten or when. 

It controls everything. Throws a wrench into your plans. 

Every three weeks he has a Monday blood draw appointment, and the next day, Tuesday, he has to travel (with a driver) to Fruitland Idaho to get his cancer drug infusion. Then on Thursday, to a local clinic to get his cancer ball removed. 

Today is that Tuesday. 

This is Us.

Thanks Cancer.