Week in the Life - Wednesday, April 26 2023

What were Wednesday's highlights?

Walked Tommie before work.

Walked with Sami and Duke during my lunchbreak

And, at work we had a hosted a public meeting in response the the outcry from neighbors of a house we bought intended as an Oxford House. To be honest, only two people were really upset. Which caused a whole community discussion. Especially on social media.  And of course one of those persons' was in the audience and he refused to sign in,  and he was so disruptive through out the meeting that it made my heart race! Ug...

The good? Total steps were: 7,745. My daily goal is 6,000.

Now, for Wednesday's photos:

Capturing Phil's morning route.
He sits in bed, with his coffee and computer 

Yes, it's Spring. Yes, it's going to be a beautiful day.
But this is how it starts! 26 degrees

See? Lovely day later. No shoes! These are our peonies... 
Sloowwwww growing

Morning capture of Sassie Kittie to the right of the door
She's actually on Tommie's old bed

Lunch time walk - never went this way on the path!

Lunch time walk with Duke and Sami Jo.
She is leash training him.
He's a big puppy!

From my morning walk with Tommie.
This is one of the ditches Phil burned yesterday

Morning walk with Tommie.
This photo was taken in our yard, facing East!

Lovely backyard!

The flower beds are ready for planting!

Our one bulb... 

If you look real hard, you can see Phil at the BBQ.
He is wearing his chemo ball pack.
This is our life. 

Week in the Life - Tuesday... April 25th, 2023

So, of all the days this past week (I started writing this later, on Friday), Tuesday was my 'strange' day.

It was strange in that I was having very odd muscle or vein spasms. They were 'throbbing'. I could 'feel' them, and see the pulsing in my arm. They started in my knee the week before, then moved to my left arm on Sunday, and then to left side of my neck, on Tuesday. That's when I panicked.  

I felt like something was wrong. And it was worse in the morning. I wasn't thinking clearly, and my head was tingling... similar stuff happens when I get a migraine. I did have a pain behind my left eye. 

I visited our office MA's, and they said it sounded like my circulation system was 'odd', like a pinched nerve somewhere. I wasn't having chest pains, so not a heart issue. 

So, I went to the Doctor, to get checked out. He couldn't find anything obvious. No pain, no bad headache, all my reflexes were good, etc. etc. etc. He ordered a Cat Scan, which still has not been scheduled by the hospital... Gotta love Rural Health Care. 

So far, no answers. And I now, am 'back' to me. 

It's as if I had some sort of episode. and, it was all on the left side of my body too. 

Makes me, well, freaked out. 

******

OK, so on to Tuesday.

Other highlights (as if the above wasn't enough):

• It was Phil's Chemo Day... this happens 1.5 hours away. Again, rural living. 
• Phil burned the borrow ditches along the highway when he got home.
• Well, the fire caught a wooden fence post - a railroad tie actually. And he did a few trips taking gallons of water to it. I wanted to help! So I loaded up two buckets in the back of my car. And yes, they did slosh around. Whatever 
• A neighbor called later, after we we cozy on the couch and watching a show, about the 'fire'. He had go out again... 
• Today was Johnnie's first birthday. Katie's 2nd child. Phil forgot to call her. Even though he was reminded a couple of times. Chemo brain. Or just plain 'I'm doing other things' brain. 

We are both having memory issues right now!

photos from the day.... 

Tuesday's Dinner was burritos. I cooked.
Love the message at the bottom of the Tillamook cheese bag!
To see these photos larger, just click on them

Drive home? Led Zeppelin 
(I just noticed my photos are in reverse!)

I love that the weather is finally warmer! Wearing no sleeves and my fun shoes.
At work I wear a sweater over my shirt. 

Doctor's Office

During lunch on Monday I got a great salad from a favorite coffee shop!
I didn't get a photo of the salad. 
This is from their IG account. 

My daily grind. This is my work calendar for the week.  
I leave home at 6am, and get back about 4:30 pm.
Typically. Depends on meetings, etc. 

And my personal calendar to jot those crazy thoughts
I get throughout the day. I was documenting the health stuff on one side,
Sami's wedding stuff on the other side

My fun shoes! Pink Rothy's
So happy to have exposed skin again, meaning,
not living in Smartwool sox or boots

Phil has been working on our yard
Look how lovely it is!
I cleaned out the flower beds. 
They are on my 'to do' list!

Week in the Life: Monday, April 24

 

Finally, our first warm weather since October 

Morning Walk with Tommie

At work - Coffee Coral drink at lunch, a
nd my wall calendar with everything

I made a breakfast burrito for Phil - early in the morning
to make sure he ate something other than a sticky bun

It's Week in the Life with Ali Edwards. 

Monday's story is really about Phil, but you don't see it here, other than the burrito. 

And really, this entire next story is about what lead up to the burrito. Which was last week.

Phil has been running himself ragged, by not eating a real breakfast, then 'working' hard, then crashing, then being hangry. He pushed himself all last week by hosting 3 hunters from Canada, and hiking each day. Oh, I did help with dinners btw for Monday and Tuesday. Up real early to make lasagna sauce, before putting in my own 9 hour day at work. Then came home to cook, two nights, grocery shop, etc. And on Wed. I had to go to the dermatologist 1.5 hours away, come home, and they went out to a nice dinner - but Phil talked me out of them bringing me back a to-go dinner, because 'we will be hanging out and by the time we get back it will be too late for you to eat'. Which was true, but I could have ate it the next day.

Anyway, after the hunters left, then Phil had golf night Thursday. And then Friday he started helping Logan with the Baker House floor install. Followed by dinner in La Grande with his daughter and her husband.

So Friday night he finally came home, tired, and upset, from another 'talk' .

He also had a bad dream about seeing a lot of people he hasn't seen in a while, and then flying off. As in dying.

Saturday and Sunday? He worked hard again at the Baker House. He just wanted to do nothing. But Logan could only work on the weekend. This was their agreement. He was hiring Logan to put in the floor. I took them lunch on Saturday and I called him on Sunday to see if I needed to make him lunch. He declined. It was 1pm. He said he would snack when he got home and eat at the concert venue that night. 

Well, he did NOT like the food menu, and decided it was better not to eat. Like a toddler. 

He was pissy. Pissy about 'who is this Haley Hendrick'?  He was hangry and tired and by god, was he going to let me know it by pouting the whole damn time from the time we left to basically when we got home. He refused my offer to stop at a restaurant to eat before the concert, he refused to let me cook him something before we left. He preferred to pout. 

So, Monday morning, I got up earlier than my 4:30 am and made him a burrito to make SURE he ate a decent breakfast.  

So, unfortunately, that is Monday's story. 

My Monday? I felt the weight of entire week on my shoulders.

I tried to release most of it with my Monday morning walk with Tommie. 

Home!

The view from my home office window

Out on my favorite solo walk/hike 

Top of Coyote Peak! 

Latest book to read. And my clock radio died, after 30 plus years!
So my Portmeirion clock is stepping in until my new one arrives.
I need one I can see in the dark.  

Photo through the windshield on 2nd day driving home - St. George area

Top of Coyote Peak -Wednesday, Feb. 15

Cross Country skiing at Anthony Lakes Mountain Resort yesterday
That's our friend Connie Sundbad with Phil

And me, yesterday's XC ski day

 We made it home on Tuesday, Feb. 14! Finally. 

I'm so glad to be home. I'm not made for this retirement stuff. I need something to do each day, that has purpose. I'm sure it would be different if I was in my own home, around friends, but let me tell you, doing 'nothing' all day, day after day, is not my thing.

I think I could do a 50/50 plan. Half work, half 'life'. 

And I need some breathing room. 

Thank God I am going back to work today.

Capturing Phil's Stories: His Introduction to Sushi (originally written on Feb. 10, 2023)

 

We went out to dinner last night to P.F. Chang's, here in Palm Desert. For our starter, Phil ordered a spicy tuna roll, sushi. It arrived, and although good, was not the 'best' we have ever had. We reminisced about our time in Jackson Hole, oh about 8 years ago, and a sushi place we went to that definitely had the best sushi the two of us together have ever had.  Phil then remembered the first time he ever had sushi.

But before we get to those details, the story of course has to start with the origin of one of his many good friends, Carlos LeCroy.

Phil met Carlos when he guided him and another hunter on his own ranch in Wyoming (Phil's, not Carlos's). Another friend got a hold of Phil and said 'we drew tags on your ranch, can you help us?' and of course, Phil did.

Well, there were two guys from Florida, and one was a endodontist named Carlos LaCroy.  Phil was 40 at the time, and broke, and newly divorced.  Carlos and Phil hit it off. Great hunting and all that.

Well, a ten year relationship developed with Carlos often flying Phil to Florida to fish. Carlos was a fisherman and took Phil out - my guess is, this was in exchange for hunts with Phil. Carlos was very wealthy, and spoiled Phil on these trips. He paid for everything.  And, he introduced Phil to sushi - the best. Phil said this was the first time he had sushi and it was wonderful.

Phil shared he went to Florida many times over those ten years. 

They were 10 years apart, Carlos being older.

Unfortunately Carlos died at the age of 60, due to a massive heart attack.

Capturing Phil's Stories: Three in One

 

Photo from our outdoor lunch in downtown Palm Springs
At a Greek restaurant!
PS. I had a Paloma - introduced to me by Sami on Christmas Eve.
Her's are sooo much better! 

On Friday, while we were sitting at lunch in Palm Springs, someone walked by and we got a whiff of patchouli, that fragrant oil associated with our hippy days. Well, for those of us that had a phase of living a life somewhat 'natural', free, bohemian, and cheap. Shit, I was in Chico going to school and threw away a good investment of Tupperware, because it was plastic. And, to this date I still regret that toss! I miss some of my funky containers, hose bright oranges and yellows. The covered plates were my favorites. Oh, and I had that phase of not shaving my legs or armpits, while I was still living in the bay area, just before going to Chico, and then there were all my beautiful printed skirts, and shirts, with gold thread woven through, and bells on the drawstrings.. I got them dirt cheap. These days? So expensive! Thanks Coachella music festival and burning man for making the bohemian look 'the look'. but I digress....

Back to Phil's stories.

So, the patchouli scent prompted one of Phil's memories... He was a freshman at 'Rocky' in Billings Montana, and on the football team. He was lucky to be on the big boys team (I forget the words he used) and they were traveling on a bus to South Dakota. Well, the bus driver was also a cop, and drove the bus as a side gig. Anyway, he and Phil were outside the bus, chatting, and a gal walked by who smelled of patchouli, and the cop said 'that girl smells like weed', and Phil said, 'that's not weed, it's patchouli' and the cop insisted it was pot, and Phil then educated him on patchouli oil. I'll let your mind wander on that one, such as how many folks might have gotten 'checked out' for pot because they smelled like patchouli oil.

Then, later that day, (present day, not the college day) we were doing our 2 mile walk with Tommie down the road and back, and a school bus drove by... which reminded Phil of a friend who used to sell Freebird school buses. This was in Casper, WY. Just some random memory that popped in his head, while we were walking. He talked about the friend and his wife, who Phil and his wife would spend a lot of time with when Molly, Phil's 2nd daughter and one of their daughters were friends. He said it was short, about 2 or 3 years out of their lives. But the couple were great people. 

And then there was a 'well isn't that something' thing that happened to me while I was getting my golf lesson yesterday. So, this was my 2nd lesson with an instructor by the name of Mary Oliver (love her name, as in the wonderful poet). My first lesson was 'the basics' which was how to hold my clubs correctly and get setup (MAJOR game changer), and the 2nd lesson was on chipping, which is the worst part of my game... Anyway, she was talking about the mind will 'remember' a habit, how to 'tic toc' and sweep the grass, and then she said 'Kidneys'! Which is a Philism! He says 'Kidneys' when referencing  himself being smart!

I need to google where this kidney thing comes from. I thought it was from his family, but he said nope, it's something he picked up. 

There you go... 

ps. We played 18 holes on Saturday. My first hole was the worst, I hate it when people behind us can see me tee off. But after that? Did better and better! Chipping included! 

Feb 2nd: Recap of Palm Springs Day

We found a great little Greek Restaurant and sat outdoors

My lunch was a veggie option

Just one of the great things to see along the strip downtown. 

Back at our home away from home. I'm on book #2

Close Up of Phil and the Palm Springs 'Scene'

 Yesterday we headed to Palm Springs to walk, eat and shop. Phil has never been to Palm Springs, so this was a new adventure for him. I will tell you, downtown PS has tons of Mexican Restaurants and from what we could see they are all very good! I ate with at a Mexican Restaurant with my girlfriends earlier in the week so we chose Greek instead. A wonderful choice.

Back home it was more lounging around the pool and reading books.

We are definitely living 'slow' on this trip. I'm having a hard time adjusting. I keep making lists of all the projects I want to do, and things I want to do... when I get back home. I don't think I could really 'retire' like this. I need my projects. I can see working 1/2 time, so I work 1/2 time and have my other home life stuff. I know it would be different if we were home for a month instead - meaning, I would be getting LOTS done, but then I wouldn't be present for Phil. 

Did I mention I do all the driving? He has only driven 2x: three hours when we came here, and the other day, when he went golfing alone, because I stayed home sick. Yep. I have been fighting a stomach/intestine thing since the girl's left. It actually started Monday night and here it is Friday.

TMI: I have a golf lesson today, so hopefully, I will be able to keep it! Let's just say, food is moving through me fast. :)

Capturing Phil's Stories: One random conversation at a time

 Phil is a man of many stories. He has said many times 'I should have written down all the hunts I guided, the people met, etc.'

I'm going to try and capture some for him.

Yesterday, while out at the pool lounging (here in Palm Desert) we were talking about something that got him to remember two coaches that had fished at the ranch.

This is how our conversations start. (This paragraph was been updated since talking to Phil to get the right city).  My two friends who were visiting us for 3 days had left 'our' place here in Palm Desert and Phil and I were visiting and chatting. Santa Barbara was mentioned in our conversation. We were talking about Pam's daughter attending UC Santa Barbara. Well, then Phil remembered a coach from UC Santa Barbara who would come to the Wyoming Ranch to fish along with another coach from UCLA. He said their names, but I can't remember them:) And then, he shares how one was a great guy, and the other an arrogant dick.

Well, the first offered him a referee job, which he took. Phil was a basketball ref for various levels - high school, college. That's another chapter in Phil's life. We could go down that rabbit hole too, for days, regarding the adventures encountered on trips taken to referee games (like when other refs get to drinking after games and then want Phil to drive the 3 hours home in the dark and snow, or the food eaten in the hospitality rooms because refs are too cheap to go out and eat - and the food had been sitting there for hours, and they got sick), or epic winter storms driven through (which then leads into that one time when he was in college and his team's bus broke down and they had to walk 12 miles home, late at night, and thank goodness he didn't eat the homemade sauerkraut at the dorm because everyone at home had been in the toilet all night from food poisoning) and the games where he and Rosy or another ref had to be escorted out of the gym so they wouldn't be accosted by mad parents... See how this works? Start with one story and Segway into another!

OK, back to the coaches from the California Universities. Well, one of them, who moved to Wyoming, I think the one from San Diego, had asked Phil if he could bring his deceased dog out to the ranch and if Phil would bury it at the ranch. Phil said yes. If you know Phil, you know he steps up to help regardless of the why. So, they take the dog up to a special place, that Phil knew was sandy, and Phil starts digging. He gets a good plot made, and the coach wants it deeper, 'I don't want badgers digging him up'. So, Phil keeps digging and gets to his waist. Coach still wants it deeper. Phil keeps digging, up to his armpits and says 'that's enough'. He has to crawl out of the plot. They bury the dog. Coach is happy. 

Well, coach dies sometime later and his wife calls saying dog #2 died, and can she bring him out to be burred. Phil says yes. He said this time it was a shallow grave, and they stacked rocks on top. He wasn't going to dig another deep plot like coach wanted!

My Declutter List: New Year stuff for 2023

 While I'm down here in sunny Palm Desert I am thinking about the projects I want to do back home. 

Mostly, decluttering.

Letting Go of all the stuff I do not need/use/etc:

I am capturing my list here, to come back to:

Clothes Closet: Stuff not worn. Apparently, we use 10% of our stuff - over and over and over again. So much that the stuff we do wear, is getting worn out, while all the other stuff just sits. 

Dresser: Ditto. Need to let go of all the t-shirts, etc, sox, etc. I am not wearing

Bathroom Drawers: The myriads of small samples, unused makeup, shampoos, vitamins and other crap that I bought but labeled as 'fails'. Along with the gifted lotions and potions that I just have stored. 

And.. finally, my craft room! Goodness. Where to start on all of this? 

I subscribe to a few craft room organization groups and let me tell you, 'we' crafters hoard a bunch of shit! It boggles my mind to see everyone else's crap stacked up to the ceilings. I don't want to be that woman. I need to get rid of the old, and just keep some favorites. This will be hard for me. I mean, I have TONS of Christmas stamps and stencils! Ditto with Halloween. It's super cute stuff! But do I really need TONS? Nope. Ug... My goal is to have one shoebox size for each holiday, of favorite supplies, and ditto for everyday things. Like Birthdays, Thinking of You, etc.

I also need to organize my cardstock by color - and purge what I don't need.

Ditto with patterned paper. And my seasonal kits that are not getting used up.

I think I just want a 'fresh' look, and 'fresh' start. Do-over. 

Ditto with all my planning supplies  - and boy, is there a stack of that crap! I keep them as journals, but never go back to them. Need to weed. Not Feed.

Wish me luck! 

January Recap: Journal of Memories

 

Recap of my January memories/moments:

Jan. 1: A sunny day and cross country skiing out in the yard with Phil and Tommie - Oregon home. 

Jan. 2: The New Year Women's Retreat that I organized! 

Jan. 5: Sami turned 25

Jan. 11: We purchased the Baker House (Phil and I): 1035 F Street

Jan. 13: The start of our Pause Retreat: Drove 7 hours to Salt Lake

Jan. 14: Massage at a Salt Lake Spa

Jan. 15: Epic 'eyeball hurting' drive to Palm Desert: 10 or 11 hours of weather. Ug. But there's a lemon tree and orange trees in the backyard and a pool and a hot tub/jaccuzzi! We made it! 

Jan. 16: The start of our 2 mile/day walks - 

Jan. 17: Bighorn Overlook Trail hike with Phil and Tommie

Jan. 18: Beautiful dinner at a French Restaurant

Jan. 20: Hitting golf balls at a beautiful golf course: SilverRock Golf Club. 

Jan. 21: Hike to Palm Desert Cross with Tommie and Phil. Paula's birthday 

Jan. 22: Played 9 holes: Executive Course. 

Jan. 23: Found a great ramen place for lunch! Sapporo

Jan. 24: Walk along Butler Adams Trail

Jan. 25: I made a lovely dinner, Phil golfed 16 holes at Desert Willow Golf Club

Jan. 26: Back to Bighorn Trail - lunch at Sherman's

Jan. 27: My golf lesson. 1 hour. How to hold the club and distance from ball. Game changers!

Jan. 28: Erin and Pam arrive for 3 days! Beautiful dinner at the Cork Tree

Jan. 29: Murray Canyon hike with Erin and Pam outside of Palm Springs (on an Indian Reservation) and lunch in Palm Springs. Another lovely dinner, this time at a Italian Restaurant. Mamma Gina. 

Jan 30: Shopping and bopping. Palm Desert with my friends while Phil got a massage. Favorite store? Sundance!

*****************

Deep conversations with Erin and Pam. Heavy stuff. Pam's husband's death, 8 months ago, and how she has been surviving. Family Drama. How to move forward. What am I doing for my own end of life preparations as well as Phil's.  These drained me. I'm still tired. Exhausted. 

Too much eating and drinking. Need to detox. Feeling bloated and large.

Lots of snuggles with Phil. Beautiful time with this man.

Lots of great walks with little miss Tommie, who know goes to the door when we say 'let's go for a walk'. And then she tries to lead.

Our First Visitors Are Arriving Today! Two of my longtime friends.

Photo from CA visit in 2019: Andi, Erin and Pam

- What is with my goofy face? And back when I still dyed my hair. 

Erin and I - many years ago! 

Erin and I: In April of This Year when we celebrated my 60th Bday in CA 

Erin and I in Boise this summer, after Phil's Diagnosis

 

Two of my girlfriends are coming to visit us for a couple of days. Erin and I have been friends since I was 14, which goodness, is what, 60-14= 46 years? And Pam is one of my friends from my Chico State days, we were roomies and then she actually lived with Erin when she became a biologist for a winery in Healdsburg.

Pam lost her husband the same week that Phil was diagnosed with cancer. Erin and I reached out to try and figure when we could all get together, the three of us, to lean in.  The same week as her husband's death her daughter was graduating from high school and family were coming in for her graduation. She was overwhelmed - funeral and graduation - highs and lows - yin and yang. 

We had hoped to do something for her 60th, in November. Unfortunately, the stars did not align, until now.

Pam lives in Santa Barbara and Erin in Davis. So, since we are all now in California, we are going to finally get our time together!

I'll share photos later:)